Get down from there you tiny devil! #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Get down from there you tiny devil! #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
OH: Jesus Christ we’ve got Lamb Chops dead all over the place. I didn’t know we were running a Lamb Chop abattoir.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Hey, uh, if you vape or know someone who does, you should probably read this study on heavy metal poisoning in vapes. Lead poisoning is nothing to screw around with. www.ucdavis.edu/news/disp…
You took the elephant’s nose off! Rude.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Why are you giving the cat a dirty look? He didn’t do anything to you.
The cat:
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
I have successfully moved a load of laundry to the dryer the same day it was washed.
You may send my Nobel to my address of record.
You’re nesting on my pajamas. Could you NOT nest on my pajamas? I need those [tug tug] thank [tug] you.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Zoë is terrified of June bugs which keep buzzing her and landing on her back.
Myka thinks they are delicious crunchy sky raisins.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Could you please stop eating the crunchy sky raisins?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
every time a website has the “remember me” checkbox on it i get earwormed. and then i get sad. life is weird that way.
OH: If you win your round you can take anything off the prize table except the menu and the napkins
#pinball #tournament
Dear MLB: we have a solution for “did it hit him?” over in cricket. How about adding SNICKO and a hotspot camera to baseball? It’s awesome to watch
I am covered in so. much. pee.
Zoë has a bladder infection and insisted on sitting in my lap the entire 4 hours we were at the urgent care.
Please excuse me I have to go launder myself and a dog.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Two things to add to this video by Hank Green:
#disability #accessibility #vlog brothers
Calendar entry: Sun’s out. Buns fucking out —- Show me your rabbits
Me, chasing Myka around the back yard so I can put her harness on: I am a persistence predator! You are not! I will wear you down!
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Do not lick the fork in the parking lot! #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Did you just bark at my pillow?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Where’s Zoë? Did you stuff her in her locker?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Clothes pins are not for eating
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Hypothesis: if I drink a coke while eating the mint Oreos, I won’t eat as many because the two tastes clash like toothpaste and OJ. Test: open package of Oreos, eat with coke. Result: I have developed a taste for mint Oreos and coke. 🤦🏻♀️
Why can’t the trash be proactive and take itself out for a change?
You stink to high hell
I’m not giving you a treat for ringing to doorbell to come in when the door is open and you’ve been in the whole time. No.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Those are clean dishes in the dishwasher. There’s no point in licking them.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Sassing me? I will turn you into a pizza #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday