Are you comfy? Is that your personal bath mat now?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Are you comfy? Is that your personal bath mat now?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
New Zealand is playing Pakistan on ESPN+ and it’s too cold for me to do stuff outside so if you need me I’ll be knitting and watching cricket
If you have experienced the road in Pennsylvania, that is not under construction please report it to PennDOT
Go chase the train
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Did you just bark at the weather?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
What the heck is going on over there?
Look princess there is no need to be so loud when i’m RIGHT HERE
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Lord, we thank you for wild rabbits and their life-sustaining meat. We thank you for dogs, who have helped us catch rabbits for 30,000 years. We thank you for Cabot extra sharp pre-sliced cheddar cheese, which separated Myka from her quarry, eventually.
Lord, we thank you for whiskey…
when I can say “hey siri, show me the apple pencils compatible with the ipad you’re running on” and get the damn apple store already filtered to the ones that work on my ipad, then we’ll be getting somewhere.
If you don’t keep your car in a garage, ESPECIALLY HONDAS, you may need to keep your keys in a faraday box.
I know, I know, nobody expects the Velcro inquisition
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Don’t bark with your mouth full
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Smells like raccoon farts out here. What is your sister chasing? Raccoon farts?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
me [taps dog on shoulder]: could you not do that maybe? dog: smacks me with her nose, continues to bark
are you guarding your puke?
[after I got lightly nipped during play] if you can’t keep track of where your teeth are, keep them in your mouth
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Dog: [drops a bone off the couch with a bang] Me: you’re very good at that
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
militant decency homework assignment: find one tiktok, youtube short, meme, what-have-you that makes you laugh out loud or go HUH, that ISN’T about politics, and post it on all your socials. Today. It’s friday, y’all, we’ve got to relax
Missed the magic window of perfect bath temperature, again
still waiting for Vicks to come out with bath bombs named Vicks Vapo Tub
Are you eating a rock? No wonder you’re so confused. That’s a rock. Spit it out.
…And that’s why we don’t have card catalogs anymore. The end.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
“Somebody is going to get something out of [your prejudices] and it isn’t going to be you.”
cross-posting in case micro.blog doesn’t pick it up: Your Militant Decency Update for the Weekend
Current status: job hunting for my dog.
Did you just lick the remote?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Barkopedia here is reading off her table of contents
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Me: I am going to bed early tonight! The dogs: the heck you are!
Back up, I have to let Groucho Barks out past you.
How many times do I have to tell you to stop hiding bones in the bed frame?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
My dog believes her full name is “mei mei puppy treats” and she’s not coming inside for anything less.
#ThingsISaidAboutTheDogsToday