We are not eating any toys today.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
We are not eating any toys today.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Fine, I will pay your extortion. Go pee.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Go on! Outside! It’s not just for decoration any more!
—- No you are not playing fetch now. It’s stupid o’clock
—- [hears barking] that better be an axe murderer
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
New proposal: we swap the word “AI” for the word “faeries” because that’s about the level of trust we have (across the board) for the behavior of these apps.
Aww, there’s my girl, standing in the front window, naked as a jay bird.
What, are you running for election? Get out and go pee.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Future archaeologists are going to be so confused about the ostrich bones in the yard.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Well now I am covered in dog snot.
—-
Do not run under the dish detergent! sigh
Well now your butt’s blue.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
I wrote about dumping desks and information architecture: theinterconnected.net/kirabug/d…
🎶Oh Adelaide Adelaide ever lovin’ Adelaide is takin’ a chance you’ll pee…🎶
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Me: If you sleep there you are going to fall off the bed. Myka: [scoots over 1/2 inch]
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Me, battling my social anxiety to try to go to a thing I really want to go to. The dogs haven’t gone out. I’m not done my turns in my game. The bathroom needs toilet paper. I didn’t send you that link yet. I — Husband: SHOWER. NOW. Thank god for him. ❤️
Do not eat the screaming sky sausages! #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Humans: omg I had a piece of black pepper between two teeth all day and no one said anything. I am mortified!
My dogs, with entire tendons of meat stuck between their front teeth, flopping around their lips: hey can you throw the ball?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
You are interfering with my success criteria
Once again, my chair is not a towel.
What? The other five bones weren’t good enough?
Washing instructions for a travel blanket: Hand wash only. Use mild soap. Air dry.
Me: Squirt with Dawn, hit with garden hose, hang on the laundry lines. Check.
Thieves. I live in a court of thieves.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
You can’t sketch the ostrich bone outside to pee. You’ll scare the future archaelologists.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
The holly bush is not food.
Don’t eat the mortar.
Stop licking the toilet.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Maybe don’t eat the grass if it’s going to make you choke
Please stop trying to dry off on my chair
I can’t throw it if you’re standing on it.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
That wasn’t edible the last time you tried to eat it. It’s still not edible. Funny that. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Gonna recarpet the whole damn living room in pee pad I swear
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Are you done snorting the chair?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Did you just belch on my hand?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
I can’t stop the fireworks. I know they’re going off. You don’t have to keep telling me.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
“Jefe, would you say I have a plethora of questions?”
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday