Dear Stern and Jersey Jack: when are we getting the Minions pinball machine that the minions carry around in Despicable Me? I’m waaaaaiting! #pinball
Dear Stern and Jersey Jack: when are we getting the Minions pinball machine that the minions carry around in Despicable Me? I’m waaaaaiting! #pinball
What, you can’t find it? It’s right where you left it, next to the water bowl. No, I’m not getting it for you.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday #frisbeeTroubles
Add these to the list of things I thought would be a huge part of my adult life, along with ghosts, whirlpools, and quicksand. youtube.com/shorts/GD…
#folkInstruments #bones #spoons #mouthHarp
You sound like a dog who wants to help me take out the trash
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Dear all the companies: if you are mailing my watch back to me FOR FREE then you should NOT force me to enter a credit card.
Apparently midnight is when the rabbits go tearing across the back yard with the dogs in hot pursuit #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
I am not for parkour! I am not! #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Why are you importing leaves?
What are you doing in the garden?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
OMG THIS www.terrygodier.com/the-last-…
so tired of everything needing my attention all the time!
YOU ARE A PAIR OF HEADPHONES, YOU SHOULDN’T NEED TO BE REBOOTED. I SHOULD PLUG YOU IN AND YOU ARE ON AND UNPLUG YOU AND YOU ARE OFF. BUT NOOO… NO PLUGS ANYMORE. NOW BLUETOOTH FAILS
Periodic reminder to clean your dishwasher filter
me: I don’t think I would let a guy named Casey bat in this situation N: that guy’s name wasn’t Casey me [pointing at tv]: his name is Casey Schmitt N: No, the guy in the poem. His first name was Mighty. it’s right there in the poem. me 💀💀💀
#phillies #baseball
Do you want to get out of the car? You want to climb me like a tree. Ok fine. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
How you doing? Doing ok? Good. Glad to hear it. Good talk. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
I fully appreciate the angst you are feeling but you can wait two minutes for me to brush my hair
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Ah, I see. Yet another hotel that believes if you use a wheelchair you must not have a need for towel bars. o_O. :eyebrow twitches uncontrollably: #a11y
Video: did you ever stop to think about all the engineering that’s gone into a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk?
Me: of course we did. we didn’t have the internet. What the hell else were we going to do? Shoot more football notes at the other students?
#Pinball QOTD Player standing in front of Bally Wizard!: I miss Quicksilver.
the crip tax on paying your taxes when you need to know what you spent to be able to deduct it is astoundingly bad
i think next year i’m going to double-entry-bookkeep all the medical bullshit
thank you Vanguard and Quicken for teaching me bookkeeping, sort of
typo of the day: is it possible that one of these two (screenshot attacked) is the one I’m looking for?
I’m not your dad but this is good advice
I can’t throw it if you’re standing on it!
I am not throwing the frisbee in the house, you little goober!
I swear you can tell when I’ve launched the camera app
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
You’re sitting there raising hell with me get out there and go pee. I’ll turn you into a sausage.
The entire lawn does not require inspection!
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
What are you, working for the TSA? Stop inspecting the dishwasher.
Hoy, banana nose. What’re you doing?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
Thank you for not slamming into the cement post
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday