First full day the dogs are back after boarding. 6:45am: I let them outside. 6:55am: Myka runs by with a full grown rabbit in her mouth. Welcome home.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
-
current status: youtu.be/b1eZLCxvp…
-
If Joel Schuster and Jerry Siegel had never invented Clark Kent, I wonder who I would be.
I miss my dad.
-
Current status: youtu.be/_YSigW4Dz…
-
Today’s surprise assistive technology is the Clax cart. accessibility.perpendicularangel.com/2026/06/1…
-
The English captions on this video are absolute gold
-
New term of the day: percussive diag. Percussive diagnosis aka hit it to see what it’s doing.
-
Help a community group in denver put on a disability-inclusive comedy show! They’re running a kickstarter to cover the CART and ASL interpreters and the like:
www.kickstarter.com/projects/…
chuck in $5 if you’ve got it!
-
🎶 Mother said Straight to bed Not to delay or be misled You should have heeded my advice But there were field miiiiiiice🎶
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Me: it is too early. Go back to bed. Mei: [does her morning stretching routine with paws atop my bladder] Me: that’s cheating.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Do NOT jump up on the vet’s windowsill GET DOWN
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
I do not need the attention of the bathroom honor guard this morning!
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Dear Stern and Jersey Jack: when are we getting the Minions pinball machine that the minions carry around in Despicable Me? I’m waaaaaiting! #pinball
-
What, you can’t find it? It’s right where you left it, next to the water bowl. No, I’m not getting it for you.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday #frisbeeTroubles
-
Add these to the list of things I thought would be a huge part of my adult life, along with ghosts, whirlpools, and quicksand. youtube.com/shorts/GD…
#folkInstruments #bones #spoons #mouthHarp
-
You sound like a dog who wants to help me take out the trash
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Dear all the companies: if you are mailing my watch back to me FOR FREE then you should NOT force me to enter a credit card.
-
Apparently midnight is when the rabbits go tearing across the back yard with the dogs in hot pursuit #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
I am not for parkour! I am not! #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Why are you importing leaves?
What are you doing in the garden?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
OMG THIS www.terrygodier.com/the-last-…
so tired of everything needing my attention all the time!
YOU ARE A PAIR OF HEADPHONES, YOU SHOULDN’T NEED TO BE REBOOTED. I SHOULD PLUG YOU IN AND YOU ARE ON AND UNPLUG YOU AND YOU ARE OFF. BUT NOOO… NO PLUGS ANYMORE. NOW BLUETOOTH FAILS
-
Periodic reminder to clean your dishwasher filter
-
me: I don’t think I would let a guy named Casey bat in this situation N: that guy’s name wasn’t Casey me [pointing at tv]: his name is Casey Schmitt N: No, the guy in the poem. His first name was Mighty. it’s right there in the poem. me 💀💀💀
#phillies #baseball
-
Do you want to get out of the car? You want to climb me like a tree. Ok fine. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
How you doing? Doing ok? Good. Glad to hear it. Good talk. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
I fully appreciate the angst you are feeling but you can wait two minutes for me to brush my hair
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Ah, I see. Yet another hotel that believes if you use a wheelchair you must not have a need for towel bars. o_O. :eyebrow twitches uncontrollably: #a11y
-
Video: did you ever stop to think about all the engineering that’s gone into a 3 1/2 inch floppy disk?
Me: of course we did. we didn’t have the internet. What the hell else were we going to do? Shoot more football notes at the other students?
-
#Pinball QOTD Player standing in front of Bally Wizard!: I miss Quicksilver.
-
the crip tax on paying your taxes when you need to know what you spent to be able to deduct it is astoundingly bad
i think next year i’m going to double-entry-bookkeep all the medical bullshit
thank you Vanguard and Quicken for teaching me bookkeeping, sort of
-
typo of the day: is it possible that one of these two (screenshot attacked) is the one I’m looking for?
-
I’m not your dad but this is good advice
-
I can’t throw it if you’re standing on it!
-
I am not throwing the frisbee in the house, you little goober!
I swear you can tell when I’ve launched the camera app
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
You’re sitting there raising hell with me get out there and go pee. I’ll turn you into a sausage.
The entire lawn does not require inspection!
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
What are you, working for the TSA? Stop inspecting the dishwasher.
Hoy, banana nose. What’re you doing?
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Thank you for not slamming into the cement post
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Don’t woof at me! I am not taking your shit!
…says the woman very clearly taking the dog’s shit.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
No context theater: N: What’s the name of the unit we use to measure viscosity?
Me: Molasseses. Molassi?
-
Typo of the day: this is hulkshit
#writing
-
There are a lot of cars in my area with yellow stickers on the back that say “new driver. please be patient”.
I want one that says old driver. get off my roads”
-
Any time you feel especially burnt out remember that there’s a quantum physics theory that there’s really only one electron in the entire universe holding the whole thing together — and that bitch is overworked. It’s a good day not to be the electron.
-
Billboard: where are you going? Heaven? Or hell? Me: POTTSTOWN.
-
If every time you walk into the house it smells horrible but you’ve cleaned everything you can think of, check to see if the dogs think the door mat is a pee pad. #askMeHowIKnow #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday #eeew #soMuchPee
-
I will turn you into a pair of slippers!
I will turn you into a pierogi!
So help me I will turn you into a boot!
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Dear all the people naming shopping centers: you can’t be a “town square” if you’re a strip mall going down the side of a highway
-
Achievement unlocked: grocery shopping in the start of a blizzard
-
If you’re driving on a grey day when it’s snowing sideways it would be good if you turned on your goddamned headlights especially if you’re driving a grey SUV
-
sigh
-
One of the stories that I published, which was only available to read in an anthology, is now available online:
Three Minutes Ahead
boyertownareaexpression.town.news/g/boyerto…
-
Something in the living room is being torn to pieces. But the dogs have been barking and yelling for attention all damn day. Right now even if it’s the sofa they’re tearing apart I think I’m ok with it. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Stop sticking your toys under the refrigerator, Mei.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
[ominously] You have missed the turn. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Eat your breakfast. Eat! What is this look? It doesn’t have cheese on it? You are running a con. This is a con you know. OK here’s some cheese now – that’s not enough cheese? I am a sucker. Here.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Doctor: do you exercise? Me: Yes! Doctor: What do you do? Yoga? Pilates? Me: I carry heavy shit in the living room we’ve decided we’re not going to use down the death stairs and then I carry heavy shit we’ve decided to use up the death stairs.
-
Stop steaming my ankles!
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
It is all River ears and snow beard over here
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
No we are not playing fetch. It’s one in the morning.
What are you going to do with that chunk of ice? It’s the size of your head.
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
that same dumbass ai pronounced sarsaparilla as sar-sa-pa-rilla. i wanted to cry.
-
we’re watching some dumbass AI video on how butter is made and it just said “But violence alone won’t make butter!” i’m going to use that to explain the entire state of the world from now on.
-
That moment you realize you could break the ice in front of the shed if the digging bar wasn’t in the shed.
-
is it a bad sign that reading the governor’s newsletter makes me want to play www.fallenlondon.com/login ?
#fallenLondon
-
PSA to the bicentennial babies: schedule your shingles shots for a time you’re not doing anything for 48 hours. (But do get it!) I doubled the first shot up with Covid and flu, and the second one with hep b, and both times I dealt like death warmed over the next day. Go go gadget cytokine storm!
-
Dog farts: motivating humans to get moving for 25,000 years
#ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Are you yodeling? It’s not even 9am yet.
The snooze alarm is hungry.
Why is there a cloud on my floor? #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
Twent degrees F, snow drifts are taller than she is, and this one wants to play fetch. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
I wouldn’t go up there. Yup. There you go. Into the snowbank. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
We are back with more idiot dog shenanigans. #ThingsISaidToTheDogsToday
-
WHY DOES SALT HAVE A BEST-BY DATE?
-
Designers! Paul McAleer has written a great post about boring and you should read it. The Most Boring Product in the World. livefront.com/writing/t…
-
Update on The Interconnected: I’ve been writing about ridiculous things. This week’s edition tries to guess what breed of dog my jack russel terrier is. theinterconnected.net/kirabug/r…
-
Autoplay video is a weapon used to make you adjust to horrific violence so the state can do what they want without your protest.
In Safari, shut it off. support.apple.com/en-sa/gui…
-
Dear everyone who remembers celebrating the American Bicentennial: the bicentennial babies turn 50 this year.
-
Dear all the medical equipment folks: the patient lost 35lbs and is trying to do something with no muscle tone at what almost always turns out to be an uncomfortable angle. Stop screwing things together so tightly the patient can’t open them
-
Dear Doordash: I repeat, you are not Netflix. I do not want you to break everything into categories. (At least let me shut them off!) Please give me back the really good filter on the front page you used to have and give me all stores.
-
A note: If I ever hear someone “able bodied” say “they could almost be as smart as us” about someone disabled, I will not be nearly as polite as this person: youtube.com/shorts/hA…
-
Adventure of the day: trying to figure out how to say “I think the sofa in my room might be electrified” to the front desk without scaring the large number of people behind me who are checking in to rooms that probably aren’t electrified
-
Dear software makers: how did we not make a standardized “back this file up” to go with “save” and “save as” 30 years ago? I don’t want to create a new one in the foreground and then save it. Just save this one with the date attached and stick it on the desktop. Go back in time & do plz.
-
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and days of auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne? We’ll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne.